VERMOUTH IS BEAUTIFUL/THE MARTINEZ & NEGRONI

I had my first experience as a bartender 5 years ago, and I still remember my first night very vividly. After studying a cheap bar guide I had picked up to study a couple weeks prior to my first shift (Harvard Bartending Guide, not recommended), I had memorized a Cape Cod, Greyhound, Sex on the Beach, Red Headed Slut, Washington Apple, and about 20 other drinks that I had no interest in ever drinking. I had learned the difference between bourbon and Irish Whiskey, and also learned that vodka was the easiest thing to make drinks with. Despite being 27 and at least somewhat experienced in life, I felt nervous stepping behind the bar for the first time.

That night, I unlocked the bar's front door, waded through the darkness to turn off the alarm, then fumbled for the light switch. As the inverted tin buckets hanging from the ceiling illuminated the dive, I was caught staring in confusion at all the bottles behind the bar. I had mostly drank beer up to that point, so the bottles were mostly things I had read about in my book, and the only one I had any experience at all drinking up to that point was Maker's Mark. So I tried to familiarize myself with each bottle, knowing what it looked like, so that when a customer ordered it, I wouldn't look like too much of an amateur reading every bottle trying to find the Grand Marnier. The last two bottles I took in were the Martini & Rossi Vermouths, one "sweet" and one "extra dry." I had never tried vermouth, as I had never had a martini at that point, or a manhattan. It was the one thing I had to try at the opening of my shift.

I opened the sweet vermouth first, put the bottle towards my nose, and before it was six inches away, I puckered my lips in horror at the putrid odor, very reminiscent of dirty socks, emanating from the bottle. Perhaps the dry was better? No, not by a long shot. I then poured myself a small taste of each and....DEAR LORD, one of the most awful things I have ever tasted. It was like drinking rain water that had been left to ferment with grapes and leaves in an abandoned tire. From that point on, I would never serve a customer a drink with vermouth as much as it could be avoided. Churchill, Bogart and Hemingway never wanted vermouth, as I had read in my guide, and those guys, from everything I had heard, knew how to drink. If the gin and whiskey in someones martini or manhattan is a good product, why taint it with the wet dog stench of vermouth. I decided that anytime someone ordered a martini I would pour the booze, and completely skip the Vermouth. I also participated in the trite bartender joke of looking at the vermouth while I poured, or swirling the bottle around the glass, so as to "comically" incorporate the vermouth into the cocktail. I feel great shame in confessing how horrible a bartender I once was, but at the same time, it is necessary to make clear: most of the bad drinking and bartending that goes on today is the result of misinformation and aggressive marketing, and not stupid people.

I also share this anecdote because I imagine my experience with vermouth was very similar to other bartenders' experiences with vermouth. By now, just about every bad bartender (myself included) has indulged in the vermouth "jokes," and miserably spread the lies of vermouth and further indoctrinated an innocent and undeserving public with the misconception that vermouth is bad and the more booze in a drink, the better. I guess this might be a valid opinion, I just don't think it leads to nearly as much pleasure in drinking. A well balanced vodka or gin martini, with a good dry vermouth, and maybe a dash of orange bitters and a twist of lemon, or even a barspoon of olive brine, is a great drink that can be savored, and lends an experience of taste and novelty. Remember this forever: vermouth is wine, it must be refrigerated.

Although it often tastes very bitter/intense/foreign/bad at first, vermouth by itself is an acquired taste that can be enjoyed very easily on the rocks, and is enjoyed very frequently by Italians as an aperitif. When a well selected vermouth is balanced correctly in a cocktail, it soars and brings a complexity and tenderness that a chilled cup of vodka in a cone glass is never going to touch. There are myriad kinds of vermouth, and each one will pair differently with different booze in a Martini, Manhattan, Martinez, Bronx, Negroni, Satan's Whiskers, El Capitan, or whatever drink it is you are using vermouth for. I blame bad bartending more than bad customers for the debacle. A bottle of vermouth left opened on the shelf for months is going to taste awful on its on as well as in a drink.

As far as the Heminway/Bogart/Churchill argument goes, Robert Hess has a great theory, that I believe to be true: those guys were drunks and by the time they were barking at bartenders to eradicate the vermouth and anything else that got between them and their spirits, they were all pretty much drunks who drank for the effect of the alcohol, rather than the pleasure or novelty of the drink itself. One of my new favorite drinks that uses vermouth, is the Martinez, which is rumored to be the original martini and dates back . It is a simple drink that requires only a few ingredients, and when made correctly, brings out the complexities of all its ingredients. I also have a soft spot for any drink that utilizes Maraschino Liqueur, which should be a staple in all bars, even dives. There are an infinite number of ways to balance a Martinez, but I find this ratio to be a very palatable one, especially when one uses Carpano Antica Sweet Vermouth. It is a good starting point, from which one can tinker, I've seen equal parts gin and vermouth, 2:1 vermouth to gin, and they all were great. If you also live in Columbus, Curio at Harvest is barrel aging a Martinez cocktail right now, and I was lucky enough to try it. It tasted like a perfectly balanced Martinez with a wonderfully complex nutty finish:

MARTINEZ
1 1/2 ounces gin
1 ounce sweet vermouth
1/4 ounce maraschino liqueur

The Negroni is my go to drink at the end of a shift. It may be a little off putting at first, but I have a hard time imagining a person who can finish one and not crave another a week later. There are infinite paeans to the drink on the information superhighway, so I will keep it short. If you have never had this drink, make it your next one and pretend you are Mastroianni:

 NEGRONI 1 oz gin (Plymouth, Beefeater or Tangueray are my go-tos for the Negroni)
1 oz sweet vermouth (I recommend Martini & Rossi here)
1 oz Campari 1 dash Angostura bitters